Waves

Waves…

They have a weird way, these waves, of telling stories to this young hearted soul. I think to myself today…”Why do I write, why do I pen down what I feel?”

After a lot of thoughts that went through my head, one that really stuck out was “I don’t know”. I do not know why I write, just as I do not know why I breathe. It’s I think this labyrinth of emotions that we are always in which makes life interesting.

Today the waves are high, I see the ever so shining water, one that is always calm and composed, to be playful today. Wave after wave as the waves hit the shore, I see a splash of water as it breaks down into smaller little pearls.

I see no point in waking up the next day or in sleeping soundly either. It’s as if I am cut loose from the past and the future, and the only things that goes in my mind is the “present”…”This Moment”.

Will I be sitting at this same very place again? Would I have just 10 bucks in my pocket then or will I have something more? Will I be the same person I am now, and if changed, will I still be looking up at myself and being proud?

I see mistakes, of judgement, of character, most of which I would have sailed my way past. The questions I ask myself is ‘Will I appreciate all or most of what I appreciate now?’….Think people…..’Will You???’

Have I found the answers of all these….’NO’

I am only human…

But the time will come when I will look back at what I had done and what I could do and go into retrospection of all my actions.

Would I be with same girl? Would I have left the one girl who loved me truly?

There is so much to seek and so less time to take in and absorb, So use your time wisely!

Changing Variables

Well I write this not because I am sad or that I loathe my decision of leaving someone that I did love, it is about me wanting to say goodbye decently and with all the grace possible. So this is to that person who thinks I have wronged her by not being with her.

Firstly I am very happy for you that in the end you managed to keep up your trust and self belief and did move on from the rut you were in, although I still think what you just did is a vain attempt to come over things and I really believe this might hurt you on the long run.

Nevertheless as I don't matter now, my opinions too don't, and that's fine. All I wish is that once you would think of the good times we have had and leave it at the beautiful parts of this relationship and it's memories. The only sad thing is that you hold me responsible for all that has happened to you when all that has happened to you is that you now love someone else, and have a much better job and career in a much better place.

I do not ask for gratitude or gratefulness because it really doesn't matter at this juncture, just so that you remove the newborn hatred you have for me considering all that we have been through together.

I will not apologise to you because all I wanted was to see you happier and you weren't that way with me. So what I chose was my decision and what you did was your childish behaviour, all I need is that we keep this in or books as profits and not losses.

You are an awesome person and I will always want the best to happen to you, may you find what you  need from whomever you need it from.

Do you Fear DEATH?

Sitting on this table, with a plain white screen, I sit with totally nothing in my Head. A blank face, a blank page and a blank mind all metaphorizing the emptiness that embodies me. I close my eyes into a stiff darkness with only the sound of a tap dripping small droplets of water and a fan spinning with a squeaking sound that gives a rather monotonic impression of my life which seems to sag on me as the seconds pass.

In this darkness and a closed environment I drop into a realm of thoughts a never ending labyrinth of ideas and unexplainable things and undefined theories. I stand clueless of the reason behind my presence here, seeking the deeper meaning of this.

Questions seem to hit me like a ray of Sun, soaking in me and changing the way I feel, changing the way i perceive and changing the way I see. I feel sick, sick from within. My cells seem to tell me something by getting heated up, my body scorches more than the scorching heat. It has been like this for a long time now, with people being unable to cure me, i seek within. I seek Answers. I seek the message beyond.

Why do we fear death? Why is it that we fear loss when we die but not when we live?

We live all our lives trying to put things in order, trying to fix mistakes that we have already done and trying to make friends when we all know that the second we die, all this would be of no relevance. We crawl back into the same place where we once came from, leaving behind all that we gained in the due course. What is left behind also is not our valued and possessed articles but our name.

The name that Symbolises the values we possess, the deeds we did and the paths we chose. Our friends will remember us for who we were and not what we were. Thus, I seem to fail to understand why we spend most part of our lives trying to shape "What we are" rather than "Who we are". This is what we need to inculcate in our lives, to shape our future in terms of our values and not on material terms, take decisions in line with our Charachter, thus leaving a mark in the world for the better. An effect on people's lives which makes their life happier and peaceful.

Why do you need to fear death if you have already done what you ought to. People on the other hand will only have fear when they run behind shaping their life on terms of assets and not on ethics.

Even if you start now you will be rewarded well for your efforts as even when you die, these will be the things that you will be remembered with. So.....

"You decide whether you would want to shape your future by focussing on your present or fear your future by misusing your present."