And it Pours on me

We all feel lost, disillusioned if I may say. We try to find ways, make ways, pave ways and mostly cut ways to shorten them to reap the profits much in advance to the time we actually deserve it. We attain ourselves, seek ourselves and fulfil our deepest wishes through every breath we take in. Remember at this juncture that I am outcasting all those who do not seek to be something, wandering aimlessly looking into this world from the outside-in.

Today it poured in the place I reside in, as I still walked calmly through the rain, I saw all others (mostly) just running, running as they were afraid, afraid to get wet, afraid to let their weakness out, shown to the world, making themselves vulnerable, as if it was not water but acid flowing through the womb of the heavens.

I closed my eyes, making the most of the moment, trying to seek the sound and echo of that drop which had just hit my cheek, compartmentalising all other noise. As I found it, I smiled, seeking the happiness within, which I undoubtedly found. A series of flashes of memories was what I started to see, and in every moment I started to see more of what I am, more of what I have resulted into, more of what I had learnt rather than what I saw. Believing in myself, thinking into the future, I pictured myself with the people I want to be with at the end, if there is one, as I believe there is none.

We never fail to try, but believe me, if you have, think again, because that is probably your time to wander into wilderness and say hello to the grim reaper. This may seem a bit negative but yes it is the truth, if you do not know why you exist, there is no point to exist, to subsist, and to survive. If you still cannot find something you were brought on earth to do, think of just spreading happiness, by this I do not mean go party and live life like it is going to end tomorrow (that is selfish), happiness is when you make others smile, genuinely, truly, make them feel complete, make them feel needed. Maybe you were brought here to do just that.

Life is short, do you want to spend it making others happy as you live and sad as you leave, or, be selfish, think about yourself and lose the love that you could have found. Time doesn’t walk backwards.

“Ye pal kabhi nahi lautenge”

When I was in my formative years, there was a song we practiced to sing, it read:

“The time to be happy is now

The place to be happy is here

And the way to be happy is to make someone happy

And we will have a little heaven right here,
And we will have a little heaven right here...

This song stuck out for me, it had an appeal from the start for me. Why?...I do not know…or wait...   I DO KNOW!

Missing those long Gone...

Hello,

I am a guy who talks to himself,I am a guy who has his faults, I am a guy who has his fair share of good and bad days and yes I have some what of a dual personality, the exploration of which, I haven't done to the needed level. But all I see through my time on this earth is that there are moments of joy, moments of happiness, and moments of cheer. These moments even when they are less are the times we seek all through our lives. These moments might only be less than ten in a whole lifetime, if you are lucky as they are the moments of glory, the moments of pride for you and the people who care about you. These moments are like the other open end of the tunnel which shows the light for us to forget and cross over the sorrows and darkness of the present.

The journey to this light is the actual part, the part that matters, the part where you soak in all that you have learnt during the course of your journey and apply it with your purest will to go through time and taste happiness. These are the moments of realization, the moments of painful truth, the moments of introspection and the moments when we have fallen down and we need to get back up and face this world and it's mean people.

Now, all that stands between us and the light is time, and obviously the people around us. This so called concept of society works in weird ways, as it bases itself on the most unpredictable of all kinds; "Humans".

There are so many times in my life that I have met someone, became a good friend of them and thought that this friendship will last through the tides of time, but time and again I have been made to feel and notice the way humans behave, as for them, friendship is temporary, temporary to the time they Gain from it, to the time they need something, to the time they feel lonely, as the moment they actually move, change their lives and stop gaining from it, they leave and don't seem to care.

This so-called hypocrisy and selfishness that I have noticed has changed the way I see things in life. All those who I have lost through this time, I will always inside my heart keep urging them to come back. But I guess that wouldn't matter and neither me writing this, as in this world, what you do is more important than who you are doing it with. The society in its present state stands to lose the only charm it has, its 'Human Touch'. 

I do not want to be a successful person, but just a person who has people to talk to in his death bed, while he holds their hands and promises them smiles. I feel that the people around me have stopped being grateful to people around them, this is changing me too. But I refuse to bow down to this as I know and I believe that Happiness can only be found in the Love from people around you. 

So please go back and think who was special to you and you are not now in contact with and please find time from your busy lives to make them a significant part of your life. Time is ticking...

Changing Variables

Well I write this not because I am sad or that I loathe my decision of leaving someone that I did love, it is about me wanting to say goodbye decently and with all the grace possible. So this is to that person who thinks I have wronged her by not being with her.

Firstly I am very happy for you that in the end you managed to keep up your trust and self belief and did move on from the rut you were in, although I still think what you just did is a vain attempt to come over things and I really believe this might hurt you on the long run.

Nevertheless as I don't matter now, my opinions too don't, and that's fine. All I wish is that once you would think of the good times we have had and leave it at the beautiful parts of this relationship and it's memories. The only sad thing is that you hold me responsible for all that has happened to you when all that has happened to you is that you now love someone else, and have a much better job and career in a much better place.

I do not ask for gratitude or gratefulness because it really doesn't matter at this juncture, just so that you remove the newborn hatred you have for me considering all that we have been through together.

I will not apologise to you because all I wanted was to see you happier and you weren't that way with me. So what I chose was my decision and what you did was your childish behaviour, all I need is that we keep this in or books as profits and not losses.

You are an awesome person and I will always want the best to happen to you, may you find what you  need from whomever you need it from.