With everything turning around me, or rather everything being stale and stagnant, I have so much to do and to process. its like the world is rolling faster than what I had believed it to be rolling at a speed of. I am scared, scared about how life would proceed, how my results will be, will my work continue, am I using my time well, is my dream of owning a company going to be fulfilled, will I study all that I have dreamt of, will I live the moments I have dreamt of. going ahead I don't know where I am going nor what I am doing(contrary to public opinion). We all are confused I guess in some way or the other, and maybe I am too.
And I see these network sites where times is rolling for people, maybe it is stagnant for sometime, but it does give me load to see how fast things are changing and how my lack of effort may lead to my lack of bearing the fruit of success. Well maybe I am thinking too hard.
Tomorrow seems to be my 22nd birthday and I got no idea of what to do and how the will be, too pressurised for it actually. I used to love how my parents celebrated it for me, they would make us lie down at 12 am exactly with our eyes closed and keep all the gifts around us, and then when its 12 I used to read out handwritten letters from my Dad Mom and my brother and then open the gifts. I used to love those days, there was no pressure to go party or to show off your pictures on social sites of the party or to think or plan of what is to be done on the day. I used to love when we used to go for birthday shopping at a store called KJ in Ajmer, it had all the cool stuff for kids, I have gotten most of my toys there, and we used to eat ice-creams while the others were busy shopping. My parents pulled all the right strings when it came to birthdays. I think I still live in that mode where I still expect something to happen, but nothing actually does, some birthdays are nice when you are outside, some birthdays you are up studying and some you just feel neglected.
I don't know what this will entail, but as usual I have no expectations, I have never expected because apart from my family, I don't have anyone to expect from, so at this point its pretty damn clear that I miss them....a lot.... and our home. Maybe this is the way to reach till my dreams and hope its rosier.
but people have told me that these paths are not rosy...EVER....and thus I guess I just need to suck it up and keep rolling in the faith that someday all of this, each second that I am investing into myself will payoff and all I have learnt from the people around me will help me in some way or the other to help others and take care of them.
As time is passing by, I guess I am getting more emotional, thinking about whether I am fully utilising the opportunities I have been given. Every around me inspires me, I have friends around me who are happy at living in shabby places, saving a 1000 rupees in a month, and they can still pull out a smile, and even when I just bought a 10k phone, I am still complaining about all the stupid things in my life. Makes me think of myself as someone who doesn't realise the potential of resources he has been so lucky to have received.
Maybe on this birthday, I do not pray it to be very cheery and party like but just a day when I assess where I am at and where I need to reach and pave a way for doing it. To help someone and to make someone smile, guess that is where true value is generated, true emotions are seen and true bonds are made.
Well today I miss people close to me, will help me who really need the help...that's what my birthday plan is!
And I see these network sites where times is rolling for people, maybe it is stagnant for sometime, but it does give me load to see how fast things are changing and how my lack of effort may lead to my lack of bearing the fruit of success. Well maybe I am thinking too hard.
Tomorrow seems to be my 22nd birthday and I got no idea of what to do and how the will be, too pressurised for it actually. I used to love how my parents celebrated it for me, they would make us lie down at 12 am exactly with our eyes closed and keep all the gifts around us, and then when its 12 I used to read out handwritten letters from my Dad Mom and my brother and then open the gifts. I used to love those days, there was no pressure to go party or to show off your pictures on social sites of the party or to think or plan of what is to be done on the day. I used to love when we used to go for birthday shopping at a store called KJ in Ajmer, it had all the cool stuff for kids, I have gotten most of my toys there, and we used to eat ice-creams while the others were busy shopping. My parents pulled all the right strings when it came to birthdays. I think I still live in that mode where I still expect something to happen, but nothing actually does, some birthdays are nice when you are outside, some birthdays you are up studying and some you just feel neglected.
I don't know what this will entail, but as usual I have no expectations, I have never expected because apart from my family, I don't have anyone to expect from, so at this point its pretty damn clear that I miss them....a lot.... and our home. Maybe this is the way to reach till my dreams and hope its rosier.
but people have told me that these paths are not rosy...EVER....and thus I guess I just need to suck it up and keep rolling in the faith that someday all of this, each second that I am investing into myself will payoff and all I have learnt from the people around me will help me in some way or the other to help others and take care of them.
As time is passing by, I guess I am getting more emotional, thinking about whether I am fully utilising the opportunities I have been given. Every around me inspires me, I have friends around me who are happy at living in shabby places, saving a 1000 rupees in a month, and they can still pull out a smile, and even when I just bought a 10k phone, I am still complaining about all the stupid things in my life. Makes me think of myself as someone who doesn't realise the potential of resources he has been so lucky to have received.
Maybe on this birthday, I do not pray it to be very cheery and party like but just a day when I assess where I am at and where I need to reach and pave a way for doing it. To help someone and to make someone smile, guess that is where true value is generated, true emotions are seen and true bonds are made.
Well today I miss people close to me, will help me who really need the help...that's what my birthday plan is!
