What is the use of attaching yourself to people, to find happiness in their smiles and do find satisfaction in their well being. In this world, even if you genuinely do care, what you end up getting is distances, and statements that make you feel that maybe you are not deserving enough. I have learnt that one should not expect something back in return for the good that has been done, but he also should not be misinterpret into something that he hasn't done or something he is not.
As the moment you equalise or misread genuine care to selfish motives, the value of this persons efforts turn to zero. At some point in life, I do think, I am getting increasingly affected by the people around me, and that I am becoming emotional. Maybe that is making me vulnerable to people and their continuous going away.
What is the point when every time you find yourself in your comfort zone, that friend or person drifts away from life leaving nothing but memories. Yes I do miss some people a lot as they were not with me for a condition, they were just there, my wall and my continuous solace. I cry remembering what it was, as maybe I did make the wrong choice, maybe that is what God, if there is one, is avenging right now.
A better situation will be when I stop to attach myself to the ones around me, I know it wont get me positives but it wont get me negatives either. I won't see people leaving, going away and make me feel alone for no reason. why does it only happen when I do like a person, I do want to make them smile and just want to be with them through whatever it is they go through.
I am increasingly wanting to be detached and unaffected as all this has taken a toll on me.
