That bit of silence

Clock ticks, the lights glow and all I listen to is my lonely breath and the sound of my fan. I look at the time,it's 4 in the morning, and I am blank, Blank like a slate.

On this canvas of my mind, I try to percieve things and draw a picture. I take in all elements of the self subsisting surroundings and make assumptions about the way my actions would be percieved by my fellow mates, base my actions as to how would they react, and on what would they be feeling about it.

I seem to not understand the validity of this socially accepted practice of presumptive and diplomatic behaviour which at most times even I am party to. Why would someone make a social construct where you have to suffocate your desire and succumb to the worldly pressures and ideas......
 .........Only because you want to be called as a part of a Society????

What kind society is it where people who think differently are asked to sit outside only because they can not think alike, only because they try to innovate and not replicate. The laziness that slurks on peoples shoulders is alarmingly disappointing to the people who try changing lives of others by impacting them positively.

Well certainly I myself am not positive today on the things passing in my life. I dont know why that happens when at this juncture I certainly dont have complains for anything. Maybe it's just the things around me exuding a sense of loser attitude that rubs a bit in me too. Now is there where I shamelessly continue or I give in.

Maybe it's just something that I have to deal with as it's very hard to change the world but at changing oneself, I believe we can do a pretty good job with that.

This silence is not the battle itself, but the battle against the battle to come.
The Clock still ticks, the lights still glow and the fan is still on..........with this I lean back and take a journey into finding the soothing voice in this shrill silence. The WAR is still on!!!

Nothingness In Success

I stand on a mountain, a moutain so high,

If i even jump a little, I'll touch the sky.

When I See around, I feel there is a void

So dark and gloomy, this sadness I wish to avoid.

I feel I have no friends, lost them all,

Climbed over their heads to reach the top of the knoll.

Having reached here, I sense nothingness

I feel I  made the wrong calls to reach till Success.

For this was not what I seek

Noone to share my feeling of being on that peak.

I stand alone on this peak today.

Noone to support if I went astray.

I think what I did was shamefully wrong,

Unable to keep up, my soul isn't that strong.

Never paid heed to all this at all,
But now I know where I had my most terrible fall.

God! Please forgive me, let me go back in time,

And change what I did, my biggest ever crime.

I need them all, all my friends back,

Else I see the things to come,gloomy and stark black.

I wander in wilderness to search for that smile,

One enabling me to go more than a mile.

Those get-togethers and parties, that time wouldn't come.

Those strings of guitar, the beat of the drum.

That golden era, my beautiful past,

I didn't know for how much time it would last.

Slowly, this emptiness,cripples my heart,

And has managed to chew away the happiness of my part.

I image myself like I am in the midst of an ocean,

Getting struck by a storm, drowning portion by portion,

Stranded in between, my boat beginning to sink,

Only salt water, not a drop to drink.

I fear the fact that when I go down from this hill.

I'd be meeting these friends downhill,

How will i react? What will they say?

Chances of even having a word seem to be grey.

Oh Divine power! help me with your might,

Please listen to this silly and over-ambitious person's plight.

Show me a way, Way to clean up this mess,

Help me to withstand this, let my emotions suppress.

I need to be where I was sometime ago,

No matter if this Success i have to forego.